Yepsen [dot] net [slash] blog

As I sit in my car just south of Chicago Ave on Rush St waiting for my wife to get out if work, I think “Hey! I should blog!” Maybe it’s the plethora of plans and to-do items streaming through my mind, the Wilco blaring from my iPhone and out of my car stereo, or my overwhelming fatigue from the 10 Days of Session 1 at Camp, but I feel inspired to write.

Given all that, expect a handful of grammatical errors. It’s time like this that I wonder how this type of post might differ I I was a frequent blogger with a loyal following, rather than a sporadic writer who is also likely to be his only reader. Despite the very public nature of the Internet on which this blog resides, yepsen.net remains a secluded spot where most ramblings will remain undiscovered.

But does that affect the posts I DO write?

Would I be more forthcoming about my thoughts if I had an audience to whom (“whom” is right, right?) I felt a sense of loyalty? Or would I be more protected and even less giving if I knew every word would be read?

Frankly, I am not sure if there is much more information to hold back. My initial thought was that I would withhold more, but upon writing that I believe the contrary. As of now, I am writing for no one, to no one. Why bother talking when you’re alone in an empty room in the crowded hotel of the Internet?

But there, I suppose, lies the rub. To garner readership I must promote and to promote I must write something to promote.

Let’s try this again… After I pick up my wife who is walking out the door…

I couldn’t agree more.  This song has always struck home with me; why bother looking forward to tomorrow if we’re so stuck on yesterday?  Why bother trying to be better today when yesterday was so great?  There were never any good old days.

If we are here not to do 
What you and I wanna do 
And go forever crazy with it 
Why the hell are we even here?

There was never any good old days 
They are today, they are tomorrow 
It’s a stupid thing we say 
Cursing tomorrow with sorrow

When we stand here in a row 
Looking like a bunch of heroes 
I know that deep inside 
Nothing more but bunch of zeroes

Skolko utetchki tepla 
Vot takaja vot sudba 
Nam segodnja suzdena 
A bit mezget chto kogda da-j povezet!

Steppin’ on the trail of Ultimate 
I would never choose to die 
so give me rest of all the secrets 
give me new culture of life

Ultimate! 
Ultimate! 
Ultimate! 
Ultimate!

1 year ago today, I married the most awesome woman I know. 

I have heard before that the first year is one of, if not the, hardest.  If that is true, we have a lot of great years to look foward to.  I am constantly shocked at how lucky I am to have her in my life.

I love you, Katie.

Wish enough, wise man’ll tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who’d have thought that you’d dream
Of a single tragic scene

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you

Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the sweet to my mean

Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that’s true

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes

All the lights on and you are alive
But you can’t point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don’t know
You don’t know the greatness you are

Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny’s scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you…

In honor of Katie and my one-year anniversary this weekend, the weird video for the awesome song we entered our reception to:

Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I’m dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I’ve waited so long

Don’t stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There’s nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long

The time is right to put my arms around you
You’re feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone

Ooh I don’t know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true

Ooh I don’t know what to do
About this dream and you
We’ll make this dream come true

Why don’t you play the game ?
Why don’t you play the game ?

Do You Realize – that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize – we’re floating in space -
Do You Realize – that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize – that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun don’-go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize – Oh – Oh – Oh
Do You Realize – that everyone you know
Someday will die -

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun don’-go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize – that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize

You say you want a revolution
Well you know
We’d all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well you know
We’d all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know that you can count me out
Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright [x3]

You say you got a real solution
Well you know
We’d all want to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well you know
We’re all doing what we can
But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you’ll have to wait
Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright [x4] 

You say you’ll change the constitution
Well you know
We’d all love to change your head
You tell me it’s the institution
Well you know
You better free your mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don’t you know know it’s gonna be alright [x3]
Alright [x7]

hey Charley I’m pregnant
and living on 9-th street
right above a dirty bookstore
off cuclid avenue
and I stopped taking dope
and I quit drinking whiskey
and my old man plays the trombone
and works out at the track.

and he says that he loves me
even though its not his baby
and he says that he’ll raise him up
like he would his own son
and he gave me a ring
that was worn by his mother
and he takes me out dancin
every saturday nite.

and hey Charley I think about you
everytime I pass a fillin’ station
on account of all the grease
you used to wear in your hair
and I still have that record
of little anthony & the imperials
but someone stole my record player
how do you like that?

hey Charley I almost went crazy
after mario got busted
so I went back to omaha to
live with my folks
but everyone I used to know
was either dead or in prison
so I came back in minneapolis
this time I think I’m gonna stay.

hey Charley I think I’m happy
for the first time since my accident
and I wish I had all the money
that we used to spend on dope
I’d buy me a used car lot
and I wouldn’t sell any of em
I’d just drive a different car
every day dependin on how
I feel.

hey Charley
for chrissakes
do you want to know
the truth of it?
I don’t have a husband
he don’t play the trombone
and I need to borrow money
to pay this lawyer
and Charley, hey
I’ll be eligible for parole
come valentines day.

I try to stay busy
I do the dishes, I mow the lawn
I try to keep myself occupied
Even though I know you’re not coming home

I try to keep the house nice and neat
I make my bed I change the sheets
I even learned how to use the washing machine
But keeping things clean doesn’t change anything

What am I gonna do when I run out of shirts to fold?
What am I gonna do when I run out of lawn to mow?
What am I gonna do if you never come home?
Tell me, what am I gonna do?

I hate it
I hate it here
When you’re gone

I caught myself thinking
I caught myself thinking once again
Have to try to keep my mind out of this
Try not to pretend

I’ll check the phone
I’ll check the mail
I’ll check the phone again and I call your mom
She says you’re not there and I should take care

I hate it here
When you’re gone
I hate it
I hate it here
When you’re gone

I try to stay busy
I take out the trash, I sweep the floor
Try to keep myself occupied
Cause I know you don’t live here anymore

A version quite different from the album version.  The man, the myth, Tom Waits brings this amazing version of one of my all-time favorites to life in Big Time, a hard to find concert movie he put out in 1988.

Occasionally, I will be posting some of the music I love, and this is certainly some loved music.  In fact, this is quickly becoming one of my favorite Tom Waits songs.

As Tom will tell you, ”This is eh, it’s about downtown Los Angeles on 5th Street. And eh all the winos affectionately refer to it as The Nickel. So this is kind of a hobo’s lullaby.”

The recording is a bit quiet, but listen closely and fall in love: